Slasher X - "Raced Santa's Sleigh Last Night"

"Raced Santa's Sleigh Last Night" *

by Slasher X

(informal translation from urban idiom by Carol Widing)

Yo
I got the mad reindeer killin' skills, kid!
I was in my Fly ass hoopty escort with the shogun rims
And the bodykits right, right?

When this dam fat-bearded mother-f____
Come all strollin' up on me at a light
With these crazy-looking grayhound horse thingies...
My boy Weezy said
They the reindeer
But like, that light is all red and **** (sic) slowin' down my ride,
When this fat, bearded ****
Whips his sleigh at me.

Sh_________t!
Ain't nobody whippin' their sleigh
At my mad killer quik escort, know what I mean?
So, like Weezy done put down his window
And starts flashin' his gang signs
And gold teeth,
When I bring that sonumbitch up to like ...9000 rpms and****, right?

Light done go green and I punch it
And even cut a chirp on the ice!
Weezy done say it was my tape deck rewindin',
But I know my cars got the power to light 'em up
Like them V8 losers say.
Mad killer power!
All you can hear is them bumblebees in my Phat exhaust tip
Comin' out, spellin' doom for Santa,
When Weezy slaps me upside the head
'Cause I left the car in Park.

Oh, damn!
I quick shift to the D, yo,
And Santa's sleighbells are only gettin' more and more faint
In the distance, right?
All of a sudden I see a flash of them reindeer
And a bright red sleigh shoot ahead with that fat ****
Callin' me a Ho Ho Ho
While his one reindeer starts flashin' his nose like hazards!

I go and reach for my strap
But it too late, yo,
Santa done schmoked my killer racah car...
Damn...
Maybe if I put in some of that ZMax into my engine
I'll get him next year...
Oh well...
YOU KNOW my car gets them women.

.........................................

This is only the story line, to ease the reading of the original.

For creative impact, go first to the original contemporary idiom at
http://www.newcelica.org/forums/archive/index.php/t-5491.html. (put in address bar)

To Slasher X - Who are you? We want to give you credit for this work. Any translation from an idiom is to encourage people to spend time to read the original, and you did a fine job here. Weezy too. You have a world to talk about, and to.

This reference to your work is no violation of copyright, to our understanding, because we are not reproducing an original, but we are taking it to a different form (and far less effective - this is ridiculous compared to the life and energy of the original). We think that is right. Let us know about your next work - want it up here, too? Or not. Just say.

Paul Lawrence Dunbar 1872-1906 - When the Corn Pone's Hot

When the Corn Pone's Hot
by Paul Lawrence Dunbar 1872-1906
Informal translation from dialect - Carol Widing

There are times in life when Nature
Seems to slip a cog and go,
Just a-rattlin' down creation,
Like an ocean's overflow;
When the world just starts a-spinnin'
Like a picaninny's top,
And your cup of joy is brimming
'Til it seems about to slop,
And you feel just like a racah, FN 1
That is trainin' for to trot --
When your mammy says the blessing
And the corn pone's hot.

When you sit down at the table,
Kind of weary-like and sad,
And you're just a little tired,
And perhaps a little mad;
How your gloom turns into gladness,
How your joy drives out the doubt,
When the oven door is opened,
And the smell comes pourin' out;
Why, the electric light of Heaven
Seems to settle on the spot
When your mammy says the blessing
And the corn pone's hot.

When the cabbage pot is steaming
And the bacon good and fat,
When the chittlin's are a sputterin'
So's to show you where they're at;
Take away your soda biscuit,
Take away your cake and pie,
For the glory time is coming,
And it's approaching mighty nigh,
And you want to jump and holler,
Though you know you'd better not,
When your mammy says the blessing
And the corn pone's hot.

I have heard a-lots of sermons,
And I have heard o-lots of prayers,
And I've listened to some singin'
That has took me up the stairs
Of the Glory-Land and set me
Just below the Master's throne,
And have left my heart a-singin'
In a happy after tone;
But those words so sweetly murmured
Seem to touch the softest spot,
When my mammy says the blessing,
And the corn pone's hot.

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Source used: "Representative Poetry Online" (original dialect) at https://tspace.library.utoronto.ca/html/1807/4350/poem768.html, online original text in numbered lines, 2003 by Ian Lancashire, University of Toronto. Footnotes are also there.

FN 1 - Racah - idiom re racing horse still in use - we find this phrase, "killer racah car," in someone's idiomatic description of street-racing Santa, see ://www.newcelica.org/forums/archive/index.php/t-5491.html. See Uncle Remus Heritage, Slasher X, Racing Santa.

Here's something - racah as from the Hebrew "RQH" and that means vain, empty, see ://books.google.com/books?id=453eZ3ihs2cC&pg=PA209&lpg=PA209&dq=racah+horse&source=web&ots=G__bwryezO&sig=bn7EzXPhtCDPReqU3XV1L3Ub4Wo&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=1&ct=result. Other references: lunar crater, science. YouTube - BOx cAr rAcA at ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYiF4Wt6h7o. There also is a street racing online site.